Heather's Talk on Femininity on Mother's Day

 

Happy Mother’s Day! And just to start, if you are a mom who spent the morning stressed and maybe was yelling at your kids to get their shoes on and get in the car or you’d be late for church again, just know that I see you. And I love you. You are a good mom. If you find yourself questioning your parenting or your sanity because you daily say things like, “Why did you cut off your eye lashes?” or “Take that diaper off your head! And put it back on your baby brother!” or “Why are there Legos in the peanut butter” then let me assure you are still a good mom.

I say this because I have spent many mother’s days at church riddled with mom guilt while we listen to stories about perfect moms. I also want to recognize that today can be very complicated for some of us. Many of us have mothers who have passed away and today can feel heavy and sad as we wish desperately that they were here.

Today can be hard for those women who want children and do not have them as well as those who chosen not to.  

Mother's Day can be especially difficult for those who have lost children. And painful for those who may be estranged from their sons or daughters, or perhaps for those whose relationships with their own mothers are strained or filled with negativity. So rather than talk specifically about motherhood today, I’ve chosen instead to talk about divine femininity.

I hope that my remarks can be safe and sensitive to everyone, and can find you for wherever you are at, in this beautiful messy thing we call life.

I was taught a lesson just a few days ago about the sacredness of messy things. Whenever I think about sacred things, my mind immediately goes to beautiful places: the temple, or a breathtaking view from a mountain top, or a gentle prayer whispered under a perfect starry sky. Sacredness seemed to always go hand in hand with beauty. But I have recently learned that this is the exception. I would suggest to you that it is more common for us to stand on holy ground in the messy moments. The ugly moments. The days when our eyes are puffy, and everything has gone wrong. When we are receptive to our Savior is often when we are at our most vulnerable and raw. Rock bottom is a holy place. It’s not a pretty place. But it is sacred none the less. Even for the Savior himself, the most hallowed event in all of history, the scriptures tell us that in the garden of gethsemane that Christ Fell on his face in the dirt and bled from every pore. The next day, the horror and brutality of the crucifixion was unbelievable, and yet those dreadful moments stand supreme in sacredness. Perhaps the same can be true for us that in our personal Gethsemanes, and when we fall to our faces, that those ugly moments can also be the most sacred moments.  

This paradoxical duality of seeing both the good and the bad, and the good within the bad, was taught to us by a woman. It was our first mother Eve in all her wisdom that understood and claimed with total accountability that she would accept both the bitter with the sweet. I find in her one of the most powerful examples of pure femininity.

One of the unique aspects of our doctrine compared to the rest of Christendom is our understanding of Eve. Where others may believe in the concept of original sin and denigrate Eve as weak and easily tempted, or even a temptress; We honor her.

In Genesis 3:4-5 when Satan tries to beguile Eve, it reads, “And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die (That is the lie). For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. (That was the truth)

Yes, Satan was trying to deceive Eve, but she did not blindly eat the fruit. He made her question, it made her doubt, and it sent her on a soul-searching internal journey. Ultimately, Eve chose knowledge. The knowledge of good and evil. Eve’s choice didn’t catch heaven by surprise. The fall and redemption had always been part of the plan. (Lund) Satan had attempted to thwart God’s will, trying to pre-empt Him, or derail the plan, but he only acted to fulfil it.  

In preparing this talk I found an interesting point that the etymology of the original Hebraic word “Beguile” is slightly different than our current understanding of the word. Today, we define the word beguile as: to trick, tempt, or mesmerize. Modernly we have lost much of the nuance from The original ancient word in Hebrew which actually meant something closer to; struggle or ponder at great length and with confusion. I like this definition as it brings understanding about Eve. Too often Even gets vilified for eating the fruit, when really the truth is that what she did was an act of sheer bravery and faith. Her choice was a conscious, faith filled leap into the unknown, and her struggle was to do what was right even while making mistakes along the way. (Farell) She accepted that her choice would bring both joy and pain. I have found this same example of courage and accountability in women in my life as they simply try to do the best they can. Over and over again I see this trait of femininity in the fearless pursuit of knowledge, and unwavering responsibility for their choices.

Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that when I talk about attributes of femininity, that I am not doing it in a competitive or exclusionary way to men/masculinity.

The scriptures say that “neither is man without the women, nor the woman without the man.” I am going to share a little story to emphasize how strongly I feel about this. Many years ago, or long, long ago, in a state far far away I was sitting at church with my kids while someone was giving a talk similar to mine in topic. At one point the speaker said, “Women are inherently more spiritual than men.” When he said that I looked down the pew at my five sons. My oldest Jonathan was a new, bright, and shiny priest, Brennan a Deacon, Ethan had just been baptized and the twins were bouncy sunbeams. As I looked at my amazing little boys, I knew I had to say something, so I quietly told them. “What that man just said is not true. Women are not More spiritual than men. That was wrong and we’ll talk about it when we get home from church.” While I believe that speaker had the very best of intentions, I think that we need to do better when we speak about gender and be careful to never, ever attempt to create false competition or stereotypes about men and women.

I do not believe that my Heavenly Mother is more spiritual than my Heavenly Father. While I absolutely believe that masculinity and femininity are unique and different, they exist in compliment, not competition, to each other.

I’ll share another example from Eve to emphasize this point.

I deeply love the scripture in Moses 5:10-11. In these two verses we get to hear the voices of both Adam and Eve. There was a time, as a young newly wed that I found a bit of humor when I would read it. I interpreted Eve’s follow up to in verse 11 to Adam in verse 10 as a wifely correction. But as the years have gone on my understanding of these verses have changed. I believe that both Adam and Eve are teaching separate but entwined principles. As I read, I am going to emphasize certain words.

10 And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of MY transgression MY eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.

 

11 And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for OUR transgression WE never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of OUR redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto ALL the obedient.

 

Like I said, I used to think that Eve was setting Adam straight with his comments about “me, I, me.” But Now I think that Adam was teaching about one side of a profound principle. Which is that when I stand in judgement before God I will stand alone with my Savior. Salvation is personal. There is no parent, child, spouse, or friend who is responsible for my choices, thoughts, and actions. It is me, and mine alone. The second article of faith teaches us that we will be punished for our own sins and no one else’s, Adam’s or otherwise. We are alone in our accountability. No one makes us feel or do anything. Our joy and our transgressions are our own.

And yet, in the very next moment Eve gives us the opposite and equally important truth. She points us to the interconnection of all things. We do not get to heaven alone. She teaches us about the “We, us, and ours”. It is through our service to each other that we learn and grow. It is my brothers and sisters that lift me up. The plan of salvation is a plan of families, united, for all eternity. It is linking all mankind together. Too often we have a false sense of separation between ourselves and others. In fact, there is no ”other”. There is only US. Zion is the pure and one in heart. Eve is inviting us to see what she sees; our oneness and that we are only whole before God when we care for each other.

These are not mutually exclusive truths. Adam and eve’s teachings are in perfect harmony with each other, and we have to live them out in our hearts in balance. Both the individual and the collective.

Another powerful example of femininity is Mary, the mother of Christ. When I think of her, I think about her resilience. Sometimes I think about the shame and the ridicule that the world and her community may have directed towards her, a young woman pregnant out of wedlock. In Luke we hear her say, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”

 And I wonder how many times she repeated those words to herself in moments of trial through the years. She knew her work was a sacred work. She knew who Christ was and therefore no matter what the world said about her she did not falter and did not turn away from him. She had been called to care for the Son of God. And she did. To the very end. Whatever criticism or names she was called, and I am sure she was called them all, she stayed true to Christ.

I believe that Mary asks us to do the same. No matter what names the world calls us, no matter what shame may come our way, we have an example in Mary to never falter and never doubt that Jesus is the Christ. Her resilience astounds me.

I often think of what it took for her to stay at the foot of the cross. We know she never left her son. I cannot imagine the trauma burned into her mind witnessing the crucifixion. I know a little of PTSD and what it must have cost her, but she was immovable. To see your child tortured and slowly killed in such a brutal way and yet, she stayed. I am convinced that she stayed for one reason: to comfort her son. I think about the moments when their eyes must have met and how they must have willed each other strength. Because Christ, fresh from Gethsemane would know with perfect empathy what she was feeling, and in the way that only a mother can, she must have been feeling his agony as well.

I have seen this same attribute in so many women. Women who sit sleepless night after night with sick children. Women who will not leave their friends to suffer alone. The ones that bring flowers and casseroles and say, “I don’t know what to say, but I won’t leave you.” In divine femininity I’ve seen over and over again women who never run from pain, but instead stay when others leave.

I have been comforted so many times by my sisters. So many in this room in fact.

Sometimes the women that give me strength are women who lived a long time ago, and I do not even know their names.

I once went on a pilgrimage to find the women in the book of Mormon. It was confusing to me how underrepresented women were in the scriptures. I needed them and so I went looking for them. It so happened that I chose this focus of my scripture study at a time when Troy was deployed for long stretches and I was raising children alone. the most remarkable things happened to me while I read. Captain Moroni's wife rose off the pages for me. I found her in the blank spaces between verses and in the dates at the bottom of the page. I cross reference dates and lengths of the wars and excursions. I counted the years she was alone. Stories of her son Moronihah and his age compared to his father's war time missions made me see her, not them. I felt like I could feel her cheering me on, my sister, and my friend. It was an intense year of study and spiritual renewal, definitely an inward journey. Again, I don’t know her name, but I could feel her telling me, “You can do this. Trust in the Lord. I know what you feel. I know what you fear. I know you. I know. You can do this.” I could see her and I felt like she could see me.

Truly the ‘errand of angels is given to women’. I have found the Wisdom of Eve in every woman that I know. And The strength of Mary is in each of us.

Brothers and Sisters, I do not have a definition for femininity that is sufficient. I cannot tell you what it is, but I can tell you that it is divine. Perhaps nothing in mortality can comprehensively list the attributes of womanhood, but I do love the old Young Women’s theme that says we strive to embody: Faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, and virtue.  

I hope that we can each draw strength from the amazing women around us. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Kiernan's talk on Doing Hard Things

 

Hello, my name is Kiernan and my talk is about being able to do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

I want to tell a story. Once upon a time there was a little boy name Will. In Will’s backyard was a big rock garden with huge rocks. All the children loved to climb the rocks. For them, it was like mountain climbing because the rocks were so big and they were so small.

One day 7-year-old Will was scrambling up and down with very quickly, but his younger brother, James, who was only 4 at the time, was having a hard time. The rocks were so large compared to his little 4-year-old body. Now, James did not want to give up, but he was making no progress, and his hands were getting scratched from his attempts. His knees got banged every time he slid back down a rock.

His brother Will was watching him. As he saw his little brother’s struggle, he stepped up and said, "You can do it, James. Keep trying. You can do it. I know you can."

With these words, James made one more attempt, and got himself to the top. The boys played at the top for a while. When James decided he'd had enough and started to climb down, Will heard James quietly whisper to himself when his foot started to slip, "I can do it. I can do it." And he did.

In our lives, there are many things that can be like big rocks that are hard to climb. Some rocks might be bigger than others. Some rocks that we might have to face would be getting hurt or getting sick. Or perhaps having a hard time learning something new at school. Sometimes a big rock we may have to climb is feeling lonely or scared.

Just like this story, we have a big brother who is there to help us. Jesus Christ is our big brother. He will help us climb all the big rocks in our life. He is there to cheer for us and to help us when we are afraid.

Once there was a time when I had a nightmare that was very scary. I said a prayer and I felt better right away. I knew that the power of God could help me not feel upset because He can do anything.

I want to read a scripture. Phillipians 4:13  says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

I am so thankful to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ who always help me. I know that they love me and are there for me no matter what.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Ethan's talk on Attitude

 

Hello, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ethan.

I’d like to start off by telling you a story:

 

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and almost all her hair had fallen out. She noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

'Well', she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today?'

 

So she did and she had a wonderful day.

 

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?'

So she did and she had a grand day.

 

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

 

'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a ponytail.'

So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

 

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

'YEA!' she exclaimed, 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

 

In this story the woman was under a less then desirable circumstance. But she chose to be happy. Attitude is everything.

 In 3 Nephi 1:13, Christ says “Lift up your head and be of good cheer…”

Carl B. Cook of the seventy, told a story about keeping your head up and being of good cheer. He said:

At the end of a particularly tiring day toward the end of my first week as a General Authority, my briefcase was overloaded, and my mind was preoccupied with the question “How can I possibly do this?” I left the office of the Seventy and entered the elevator of the Church Administration Building. As the elevator descended, my head was down, and I stared blankly at the floor.

The door opened and someone entered, but I did not look up. As the door closed, I heard someone ask, “What are you looking at down there?” I recognized that voice—it was President Thomas S. Monson.

I quickly looked up and responded, “Oh, nothing.” (I’m sure that clever response inspired confidence in my abilities!)

But he had seen my subdued countenance and my heavy briefcase. He smiled and lovingly suggested, while pointing heavenward, “It is better to look up!” up!” As we traveled down one more level, he cheerfully explained that he was on his way to the temple. When he bid me farewell, his parting glance spoke again to my heart, “Now, remember, it is better to look up.”

As we parted, the words of a scripture came to mind: “Believe in God; believe that he is … ; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth.”¹ As I thought of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s power, my heart found the comfort I had sought in vain from the floor of that descending elevator.

 

In both stories the message was to be happy and have a good attitude. The scriptures hold many excellent examples of unconquerable attitudes as well as poor attitudes.

One example is of Laman and Lemuel compared to Nephi. When they went on their journey to the promised land, they all left Jerusalem and they all walked the same distance, they all went back for the brass plates, they all went hungry together in the wilderness, they all built the same boat, and they all traveled across the same ocean. The only difference is that Nephi had faith in God, and he had a good attitude. But when you think of Laman and Lemuel you think of one word: murmuring.

Where Laman and Lemuel murmured about how terrible everything was, Nephi kept his head up, looking to God. Laman and Lemuel always acted as victims of their circumstances, but Nephi rose above the trials and became greater and better for it.

John 16:33 says:

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Trials and tribulations are part of life. No one goes through life without their own Gethsemane. Hard times come to us all. But because of those trials we can become better, and we come closer to God. Attitude is part of these trials. Our attitude is the glasses to see the world with.

I love this poem by Red Foley, that talks about the attitude of gratitude.

Today, upon a bus,
I saw a girl with golden hair
And wished I was as fair
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle
She had one leg and wore a crutch
But as she passed, she smiled
Oh God, forgive me when I whine
I have two legs the world is mine

I stopped to buy some candy
The lad who sold it had such charm
I talked with him, he seemed so glad
If I were late, it `d do no harm
And as I left, he said to me,
'I thank you, you've been so kind
You see, ' he said, 'I `m blind'
Oh God, forgive me when I whine
I have two eyes the world is mine

I saw a child with eyes of blue
He stood and watched the others play
He did not know what to do
I stopped a moment and then I said,
Why don't you join the others, dear?
He looked ahead without a word
And then I knew, He couldn't hear
Oh God, forgive me when I whine
I have two ears the world is mine

With feet to take me where I `d go
With eyes to see the sunset's glow
With ears to hear what I'd know
Oh God, forgive me when I whine
I have blessed indeed, the world is mine

I hope to be able to live with an attitude where I look up and see the good in everything around. Like President Monson said, “It’s better if you look up!”

I want to have an attitude where I am grateful for what I have and always try to help those around me.

I bear my testimony that a good attitude is the key to a Christ like life.

In the name of Jesus Christ AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heather's Christmas talk on Light

 

Hello Brothers and sisters, My name is Heather. My family is newish to the ward. We moved here about 5 months ago. My husband Troy gave a talk a few weeks ago where he introduced our family so I wont do that again, but we are still learning names so please come say hi to us. And if you’ve introduced yourself already, come do it again, because we are trying to get to know everyone.

I think one of the best ways to get to know people is through serving in callings. I was recently called to serve in the Young Women’s and I absolutely love getting to know your daughters. These young women are amazing and I love them so much already. A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to teach a lesson with them for the first time. As a group, I had invited them to share a favorite scripture that was meaningful in their life and brought them strength. It was a beautiful experience to hear them talk about their relationship with the scriptures. These girls know the scriptures and they love them. There is something magical about hearing the word of God being spoken by Young Women.

There was a moment during the lesson that I have not been able to stop thinking about since it happened. I hope that Alisha Capps doesn’t mind me sharing this with you, but when she shared with the class, I was deeply touched. The scripture she chose was one that I am very familiar with and is very simple. It is only 4 words. When she was asked for her favorite scripture was, she answered very simply, “Let there be light.” 

I have always considered this scripture in the context of the creation of the earth. God separated the light from the darkness and this scripture described that event. But since the lesson I’ve begun to think that there is so much more than I had previously thought about. The scripture can be found in both Genesis 1 and in Moses 2. I found it significant that this phrase is the very first time that we hear the voice of God in scripture. The very first thing we have recorded that he said was, “Let there be Light”. Also, I have always thought of the first commandments that God gave were issued in the garden of Eden to Adam and Eve. As I have thought about this scripture I have begun to feel that perhaps I should consider this a commandment from Heavenly Father: “Let there be light.” During the lesson Sis Greenfield commented that she particularly loved the word, “Let” and I agree. The word “Let” implies agency. It implies acceptance and to “allow there to be light”.

A few days after the lesson is when Bro Palik called and asked me to speak on the Light the World Initiative that the church does each year.

Now I will make a confession: I have struggled with feeling the Christmas spirit this year. I have been really strugglings. I have felt overwhelmed and discouraged and withdrawn. My heart has felt heavy and not very joyful. Like many of you, I signed up for the Light the world reminders where they send you daily suggestions of acts of kindness. On Dec 1 the first suggestion was to send a text telling someone why you were grateful for them. As the day went on my phone bing-ed with sweet little messages from family and friends. Instead of feeling grateful that they would write to me I felt skeptical and a bit like Ebenzer Scrooge. I thought, “Oh you are just checking the box”. You don’t really mean it. I know it terrible but that was how I felt. The next day’s suggestions was to make a tribute to someone who was a Christlike example in your life on social media. I saw the sweet posts people shared about their parents or friends and all the heart emoji’s and I scrolled past it as fast as I could. I thought, “Ya, love, love, love. Y’all love each other. I get it. Ba hum bug”

The next day, I have a friend Bee who posted a picture online with the hashtag #LightTheWorld. It was a picture of the inside drum of her laundry washing machine. The inside of the tub was filled with shards of broken china. Intrigued, I clicked on the picture. I read her story of how she had embarrassingly managed to absent mindedly put one of her nice plates into the laundry and started it. Not only had it broken the plate but the broken glass had swished around with her clothes and the smallest shards had gone down the small drain holes making a disaster of everything. With a mixture of humor and self depreciation she said she hoped to brighten our day with her misadventure. #Light the World. I found myself smiling despite myself and I felt my little Grinch heart start to grow 3 sizes. I could totally relate to her! It was like seeing myself. I can’t tell you how many times I have accidentally melted Tupperware and even this week I was driving around with pizza on top of my car. I realized I had been feeling so sad and alone and I was struggling to relate to messages of happiness and joy. But boy could I relate to that broken plate! And her willingness to share it with me was exactly what I needed. It was something I could connect to.

I know he wasn’t talking about broken plates when he said it, but there is a quote from Ernest Hemmingway that I deeply love. It says, “We are all broken. That is how the light gets in.”

Truly it is often in our moments of brokenness that we are the most receptive to our Heavenly Father. In those vulnerable times, and even in those times that seem the darkest is when the light of our Savior’s love can seem brightest. After all, Christmas lights are much prettier at night. Mistakes, hardships, and weakness are often great oppurunities for an increase of understanding and kindness. They can be the gateway for greater closeness with Heavenly Father with others.

A week ago I had a situation at work where I had some reports that I needed from someone that were severely over due. I has sent what I thought was a very friendly reminder that I needed the paperwork, but the response that I got in return really put me back on my heels because it was so angry and hostile. I was totally shocked and then I felt a flash of the natural man surge up in me. I was offended and upset, and worst of all I absolutely knew that I was in the right and they were in the wrong. I’ve learned over time that one of my most dangerous emotions and my biggest red flags in when I have absolute and prideful certitude of my own correctness. I was tempted for a moment to respond in kind with anger and indignation. Then I remembered Alisha saying, “Let there be light”. So I took a breath and said a little prayer. Instead of anger I simply wrote, “What can I do for you? How can I help?” About an hour later I got the response, “No, I am sorry. I am overwhelmed and having a hard time. I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I will get it done. I just need more time.” I sat and thought, how often have I done the same thing, where I have taken something out on a friend, a loved one or complete stranger. I felt a closeness to her because I understood her.

Many years ago I was very active in yoga. My favorite part was at the end of each class we would put our hands together by our heart and say, “Namaste”. There are many cultural meanings to that phrase, but the translation I love the most is: “The light within me bows to the light within you.” Or “The light within me honors the light within you.” In that situation at work I felt in that moment that the light within me was able to bow to the light within her.

One of my very favorite Scriptures in D&C 88:40. I love this scripture so much that it is the signature on all my emails. It says: ““For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light” My favorite line has always been that Light cleaveth unto light. When we are kind, we give space for other’s to be kind. When we are brave, we give permission for others the be brave. When we are honest, or forgiving, when we are authentically ourselves, when we let our light shine, we make it is easier for others to do the same. The light of Christ is contagious. Light cleaveth unto light.

My Christmas prayer for you, and for me is that we “Let there be light”. Whether it is through broken plates in washing machines, or texts of gratitude, or swallowing our pride, or just not giving up may we light the world.

I bear you my testimony…

Brennan's talk on Winning

 

Hello, my name is Brennan. I am a senior in Muskego high school and something interesting about me is I really love to play board games. I love to play Axis and Allies with my dad, I love Settlers of Catan, Stratego, chess, you name it. I love all sorts of games...And I especially love winning. I love the competition and the fun and the battle of the minds. I like to strategize and prepare different ways that I am going to beat my dad or my brothers between games. I just really love to win.

            Competition is a great thing in a lot of ways, but the thing about winning and losing is that it is completely based on our perception. Over the years I’ve learned that if I define winning or success as beating my opponent then that’s one way to look at it, but if I define winning as having fun with my family when we play board games then I really can’t lose.

            When the bishopric asked me to speak today, they asked me to speak about preparing for my mission and I really started to think about this idea about what it meant to be a successful missionary. The whole point of preparing for something is so you can be successful. But how we define winning or success changes everything.

My dad told me a story from when he was on his mission where he was at the same mission zone for over 6 months. In those six months, he had 2 baptisms and he was really frustrated about not feeling like he was making a big enough impact. He wrote a letter home to his dad asking if he was a bad missionary? if he wasn’t spiritual enough? if he wasn’t good enough? My grandfather sent a letter back that simply told him to “read your mission call”. So my dad read the mission call and as he read and re-read it he realized that nowhere on the mission call does it say that he was called to baptize. But it did say “you are called to serve”. From that point on, my dad changed his outlook. Instead of trying to focus on investigators and baptisms, he started looking at how he could serve and help people around him.

At this same time, he had just gotten a mission companion who he was having trouble with. The companion was hard to get out of bed. He had long morning routines that made morning appointments impossible to keep. He wouldn’t study the scriptures and instead was always writing home. He did not want to get out and work and was resistant to interact with investigators or members. My dad again got really frustrated with how things were turning out so he started praying about how he could fix the problem. As he prayed, the answer came back to him to “serve”. He got the distinct feeling he should tell his companion that he loved him, so he did. When my dad told his companion that he loved him, the companion broke down to tears and later told my dad that he was the first one to ever tell him that. As long as my dad was focused on the idea of being a successful missionary was all about baptisms, he was missing the mark. But when he changed his definition of success to service and love, that was when he felt like he was “winning”. As I prepare for a mission, I want to prepare my mind to think about the true meaning of service and love.

One of the greatest missionaries in the Book of Mormon was Ammon. By all accounts he was definitely a successful missionary. Before he went on his mission Ammon had a lot of preparing to do. Ammon was one of the four sons of Mosiah with Alma who had been actively trying to tear down the church and pull members away. (He was the opposite of a missionary. The anti-missionary!) Ammon wasn’t exactly on track to being a great spiritual superhero. But then something happened. The short version is that Ammon became converted. While most of us don’t have a conversion story like Ammon’s where an angel appears to us and threatens to smite us if we do not change, conversion is always the first step to preparing to serve the Lord. But even though Alma and the sons of Mosiah saw an angel, that was only the catalyst to their conversion story. Most of us would say that if we got to see an angel that would give us an absolute testimony of the gospel. But in Alma 5, while talking to the people Alma the younger teaches them about Christ and Heavenly Father and then says,

“45 And this is not all. Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself? Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of their surety?

You’d think he is about to say that he knows these things because he had seen an angel. But listen to what he says next:

“46 Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me.”

Conversion always comes through the spirit. Even those who saw angels still receive a real testimony through the Holy Ghost. “Conversion is a process, not an event. Conversion comes as a result of righteous efforts to follow the Savior. These efforts include exercising faith in Jesus Christ, repenting of sin, being baptized, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end in faith.”

I am still on the journey of conversion and figuring things out for myself. I don’t know a lot but I do know that God is with us. I know that there is a divine entity that knows each of us intimately and he loves us all absolutely. Ammon was also on a journey of conversion.

So, what was Ammon’s next step in being a successful missionary? In Alma 17:6 it says, “Having taken leave of their father, Mosiah, in the first year of the judges; having refused the kingdom which their father was desirous to confer upon them, and this was also the minds of the people;”

In this verse what I learned was that to be a successful missionary, Ammon and his brothers had to be willing to sacrifice. They had to give things up. Ammon and his brothers gave up being kings. They gave up an entire kingdom, power, and wealth. The very things that the world defines as the pinnacle of success. This makes me take a deeper look into their hearts and who they became, how they had changed their perspective of what it meant to “win”. Not only did they walk away from their birthright as princes to the throne, but they also initially disappointed their father who wanted them to take the throne in his old age. They also were willing to stand up to all their people, their friends, and communities because they were absolutely sure they wanted to serve the Lord. This is peer pressure to the max!

I like the part in Harry Potter when Dumbledore says to the students at Hogwarts that it is hard to stand up to your enemies, but it is much harder to stand up to your friends. Ammon and his brothers had to hold fast even against the expectations of their family and friends. My mom likes to say that the definition of sacrifice is to give up something good for something better. Ammon and his brothers gave up so much that was good, because they saw serving the Lamanites as better.

During the last year, with Covid and quarantine I haven’t felt a lot of winning going on. I have gotten a little angry and frustrated at how trapped I have felt at times. It’s been a hard year for a lot of us. I love my family so much but being stuck in the same house all together sometimes we started to get on each other’s nerves. Just a little.

In the process of writing this talk I have found that if I put myself in the shoes of my family members and see how they feel, then I can serve them more. Christ is the ultimate example of understanding. He sees our pain through our eyes. He knows how we feel. To be a Christ-like missionary I need to try to see through other people’s eyes and serve them accordingly. It is always about empathy.

Acts of love and service are the constant little things that need to be maintained regularly. For example, when Ammon met the king of the Lamanites, he said that he would rather serve the king than marry his daughter and live a cushy life. He said he would voluntarily be the king’s servant because he wanted to serve more than anything. Ammon then went on to save the king’s flocks and instead of gloating over his victory, he went and took care of the king’s horses. Ammon did nothing but serve. He didn’t start by preaching to the people. He was focused on loving them and serving them.

Thinking about this as I prepare to be a missionary, I have come to understand our gospel not through a lens of I need to loudly preach the gospel, but I need to loudly live the gospel. Pope Francis once said, “preach the gospel always and if necessary, use words.” This phrase is fantastic. It talks about teaching the gospel through our actions and using our words as a secondary. For each of us, success and being a winning missionary isn’t about baptisms or numbers. Success is about love. I love the quote from Maya Angelou who said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If I keep my focus on loving my brothers and sisters then it is impossible to fail as a missionary.

The greatest gift I can give them is sharing my knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Testimony

For Dogs and Men

     This current presidential election cycle has been a demoralizing blow to our country. It has been divisive and toxic. Personally, I have been unsure how to vote and discouraged and fearful over my options. Recently, I had an experience that taught me about hope in the face of a storm. 

For Dogs

     My community was hit hard by Hurricane Matthew. In its wake my family has been volunteering with our church group to help with the clean-up of flooded homes and fallen trees. While working, my volunteer crew came upon an abandoned dog in the woods. He was chained to a tree, without shelter, food, or water. His body was a thin layer of skin, stretched like cellophane across his bones. Brownish red scabs held the chain on his neck in place where it had rubbed his flesh raw. The carabiner clipped on the chain had somehow pierced all the way through his throat, like a huge earing, where it was rusted in place. I called animal control and the humane society, but the shelters were full beyond capacity and he’d only be put down if we brought him in.

     That’s how he got a ride in my car to an emergency vet clinic, where they cut the chains from around his neck and he began his long road to recovery. A few days and several hundred dollars later, he has a warm bed in my home. We hope that when he is healthy and ready, he’ll find the forever home he deserves. Until then, we will love him and do our part in his story. 

     Financially, it’s been a rough year for my family. I knew we couldn’t afford the vet bills for a very sick and abandoned dog, but when I saw him, that didn’t matter. We are a busy family, already struggling to meet all the demands on our time. It didn’t matter. Space is limited and we have a house full of kids and pets, but again, that didn’t matter. Doing what is right is often not the easy or most pragmatic path. It’s a leap of faith and an act of hope and courage. For my family, taking on this dog was not a practical choice. It was an ethical one. 

And Men

     In the current political climate, many of us feel trapped by the unappealing candidates of the two mainstream parties. As the discussion of third party candidates becomes more common, there is a frequent counter-narrative to that option. The complaint is that people do not want to throw their vote away by supporting a third party candidate because they “know they can’t win”. To many of us, it seems too much of a longshot. Using your vote for an underdog just doesn’t seem practical. 

     We seem to have arrived at a place in our culture where it doesn’t matter how much we agree with an unconventional candidate on policy and principle. We will not vote our conscience out of fear that someone we abhor will beat someone we loathe. Fear of what we don’t want is a stronger motivator than actively pursuing what we do want. Strangely, we have begun to go against our own advice to our children and we are following the herd off the cliff simply "because everyone else is doing it". 

     I believe that the inevitability of one of the two main candidates winning only exists because we say it does. I choose to not give it that power. It is more important to make an ethical vote than it is to make a practical vote. Will my candidate win? Statistically, there is a very small chance of that happening. It doesn’t matter. Voting for what and who I believe in is a privilege and responsibility. 

     The wolves are snapping at the heels of anyone who dares to veer away from the stampede off that political cliff. They will snarl, 

     “But if you don’t vote the party line then THAT other candidate will win! You are a traitor. Don’t you know it’s hopeless? Join the real world.” 

     Too long our country has been hungry for a better way. We want real representation. Neglectful and corrupt leaders have done immeasurable harm to our nation. This election cycle has undeniably uncovered the failures of a system that has held our country captive to the idea that the political parties rule instead of the voice of the people. I will not be chained to that narrative. I will vote for the individual who I believe will be a moral leader who recommends policies that represent me. That is the definition of democracy. Win or lose, my voice will be counted with those who did not bow to corruption. It may be an impractical vote, but it is definitely an ethical vote. 

     In way of an epilogue, I will return to my new furry friend. When I shared my story of the abandoned dog on social media, friends and strangers alike stepped up and volunteered to pay medical bills and offer care. I was blown away at the generosity of my community. People from all over the country, and even other countries, came together to do what was right for this dog. I took the leap and put him in my car knowing it wasn’t realistic in my circumstances to help that poor pup, but others immediately reached out to support life and hope. 

     When one of us is willing to speak up, it gives validation and momentum to others. Who knows what will happen if we decide to step forward and be the one to act. Hope is contagious. I believe this is true both for dogs and men.

Burning In The Wake

 

Henry Ford said, “Don't find fault, find a remedy.”

The office of the President of the United States of America must be filled by an individual who can create peace through the art and skill of diplomacy. 

In any presidency there will be conflict. In every presidency there will be the possibility, and perhaps necessity, for war. The one who dares to apply for this position must be immediately prepared to shoulder that reality. There will undoubtedly be moments of unrest, both politically, culturally and perhaps physically in every generation. Those who wish to be at the helm must be capable in those moments to understand the nuances of those conflicts, and most especially to be proficient in resolving them in the most pragmatic ways. 

Today our country is seeing turmoil in the political rallies, and ensuing protests, of Donald Trump. In Chicago, protesters and Trump supporters collided in the thousands and while the rally was canceled, the conflict remains unresolved. 

In virtually every city where Mr. Trump speaks, we see these clashes: Saint Lewis, MS , Fayetteville, NC , Miami, FL , Richmond, VA , just to name a few.


Chicago Protests at Trump Rally - March 2016
 
Altercation at Trump Rally in Virginia - Oct 2015

The division is spreading faster and faster through our Nation. Some of this animosity was created solely by Trump himself, some he has encouraged, but some of these divisions existed before his time. He did not make all these problems…but can he help fix them? 

If he wants to be the President of the United States he cannot continue to defer or reject the responsibility of this moment. The buck must stop here. 

Today is his moment to try to lead. 

We are each responsible for our own choices, as are the protesters and the Trumpeters, but a leader takes responsibility for people other than themselves. They shoulder the questions, needs, and problems of the many. If he wants to be our Commander-in-Chief, then he must lead today, not AFTER he has been given the title. He must earn the job. He must prove he is worthy. He must demonstrate he is fit for the calling. Only results are evidence of effectiveness. There can be no excuses or blaming others.

This is his moment. 

Convince me Donald Trump. 

Convince me you can sue for peace. Show me, now and today, that when foreign nations rise in anger and frustration with us, or each other, that you can handle the responsibility of a mediator. I promise you Mr. Trump that when those challenges arise that they will be much more demanding than those that are happening on your campaign trail today. Can you create treaties out of wisdom, compassion, justice and the sheer force-of-will for peace? 

Earn your way to the top with an undeniable performance of skill. 

These are defining opportunities.  Systems are being tested and fracturing. These are great days of change and possibilities.  

There are those who only serve to deconstruct and demolish. Donald Trump can certainly bull doze. He has proven he can challenge the status quo with his unexpected rise, with his angry rhetoric and unconventional methods. He has rattled this nation and stirred our fires. He has shocked and shaken this country.

But can he offer solutions? Can he unify a city? A political party? A nation? A world? We have to consider this carefully, because up to this moment his only 'leadership' has been to leave our country burning in his wake.

The President is the president of not just the political party of those to whom he or she belongs, but the president of all Americans. A President must effectively work with those who disagree with them, with those who are not their loyalists. They must represent us all and answer to us all. They must be willing to do what is best, not for just those to whom they affiliate with, but for all people. They must speak to the dissenter as well as the proponent. 

If he is volunteering for the toughest job, then he cannot shirk this problem. Will he say, “It is not me. It is not mine.” Or will he stand and claim it, and resolve it? The mantle of responsibility must be assumed with all its weight by those who seek the privilege to wear it. 

Mr. Trump, can you unite people? Because you have applied for the job. You are in the middle of a skills demonstration interview and we are watching.